MasterChef Open Casting Call

Flashback to Jan 20. I'm busy compiling a list of culinary contests in which to enter my BBQ Sauce when I ran across a posting for an open casting call for Gordon Ramsay's MasterChef, set to debut on Fox later this year. Gastro Hounds had to make an appearance. The format was this: contestants would have five minutes to plate a dish, and were to be graded by a culinary judge and casting director. In a addition, a lenthy application and photo of the finished dish were required upon arrival at the event. The competition was set for Jan 24th, so I had very little time to prepare. To make matters worse, my vehicle was suffering from an as yet undiagnosed problem. I would therefor need to make a 2 1/2 hour bus ride in order to participate. After a lengthy search, I settled on a soup and salad theme: gazpacho paired with a salpicon of braised beef, potato, onion and chipotle combined with sherry vinegar and olive oil served on Belgian Endive. Both dishes would be dressed with a lime/cilantro vinegretta. These dishes are intended to served slightly chilled which alleviated the problem of keeping something warm over an extended period of time. Working on 3 hours sleep, I set out at 5 a.m. on the 24th in order to reach my destination in plenty of time, hopefully towards the front of what I expected to be a long line.

The weather was angry that morning, like an old man returning his fetid clam chowder at the Early Bird Special. I quickly secured some coffee at Celtic Coffee Company and hoofed it to Sur La Table on Maiden Lane which was hosting the event. I made it in good time, eventually securing spot #44. Not bad. The line grew quickly, and the weather continued to deteriorate. To make matters worse, no bathrooms were available. The rain, wind and caffeine soon made for an uncomfortably full bladder, the assembled crowd began to get unruly. By the time groups of 12 were being ushered in to start the call, many of us didn't care. We just wanted to finish the ordeal and find the nearest facilities. The first groups were already filing out, the look of defeat etched on their faces. My group was finally let in and ushered downstairs to the test kitchens. 4 tables, set up to accomodate 3 contestants each, were directly in front of us. We received instructions that when our number was called, we should proceed to the nearest open space at one of the tables and our 5 minutes would commence immediately. I noticed that culinary judges were grilling contestants as they were trying to plate. A brutal, Iron Chef type environment. My number was called and quickly made my way to my spot on set about plating my dish. I started with the gazpacho as it was the most time consuming given the garnishing and visual presentation. A culinary judge was right there and began my interrogation. The questions involved choices of recipes, inspiration as well as actual culinary knowledge. My judge hammered me on what actually constituted a salpicon and why I had chosen that as a component. I acquitted myself well while finishing plating my gazpacho. I was ahead of schedule as the culinary judged moved off to other victims. I was coasting at this point as I started to plate the salpicon. I pulled out the head of endive and choked. The endive had been kept too cold and had turned translucent. It was unusable. My plating ruined, what little chance I had of actually advancing was shattered. I plated the salpicon directly onto the serving dish - pathetic. The casting director came over and began my second interview. I was phoning it in at this point, only wanting to pack up and make a quick escape to the nearest bathroom which is exactly what I did.

I replenished my energies with the help of a delicious dirty water hotdog from one of the many hotdog carts that dot Union Square, but was still feeling down. I made my way to Westfield Mall food court to purchase a comfort puff at Beard Papa's. If you've never had a cream puff from Beard Papa's you're missing out. These things are massive, and the filling literally explodes on your first bite. With my comfort puff securely stored in my backpack, and the dirty water dog still providing sufficient energy, I made my way back to the bus stop, nearing the coffee house where I had stopped upon exiting the bus that morning. There was a commotion out front and upon getting closer noticed that a clown was angrily accosting someone in a parked car. This was one PO'd clown, the screaming growing louder as I approached. Suddenly, the clown lunged for the car and slipped on something, landing with an audible thud...then "cut!". The crowd that had gathered to watch the altercation was actually a film crew. The director was not pleased with the proceedings, and wanted a reshoot. Shady prop guys began reshaping something on the sidewalk - a prop dog poop which is what the clown had slipped on. Great, an angry clown slipping on dog crap. It was the perfect punctuation to the end of my day. Bizarre, but all true.

I'll post the pics from my cell phone once I extract them. Also, for more info on Beard Papa's monster comfort puffs, I've posted a link on the side bar.